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Now that the bathtub and shower are out, its time to finally do something I know how to do. I want to savor this moment because there will be very few like this. Yes, it is time, the brown toilet must go. Our first week in this house, I had to take my daughter to the doctor for some reason, and one of the doctor’s questions was “Is there blood in her urine?”

How am I supposed to know? I have a brown toilet!

I despise it…. I loathe it…. I detest and abhor it…. Plus I need it out before I can remove the carpet. So let’s do this!

This is the gross part. You have to get the water out of the toilet. In the past, I tried using the bucket of water method. Essentially, you turn off the water, flush, then dump a bucket of water into the bowl. It is supposed to flush the rest of the water out. Sounds easy… who could mess that up? ummm… That would be me. I must be doing it wrong because, after about 20 attempts, I gave up. Out comes my wet/dry shop vac.

I simply turned off the water, then sucked all the water out of the bowl and the tank. It may not be the right way, but it worked.

To remove the toilet, I did the following:

I detached the water hose from the tank, making sure to place a towel underneath to catch any extra water. I wouldn’t want to damage the carpet.


Next, I removed the caps that go over the bolts. They were rusted and super gross, so I needed some help from my pry bar and hammer.


Then all that’s left to do is lift it up and get it the hell out.

See that gross black/yellow ring? That is the wax seal and I will need to remove it, but I am a master procrastinator and will do it later.


Now I need the carpet out of my life.